It's Been A While

It's been a while since I've posted or spent any time on the Internet.

My brother Chris died suddenly and terribly in September, and I am still making my way back from the grief and the shock. Chris and I talked about three or four times a week on the phone and I saw him about once a week or so. He was a sweet and gentle person, smart and funny. When I was single, all my single friends wanted an introduction to him.

"Uncle Chris was my favorite uncle," my son said yesterday. "And I told him that when he was still alive."

How grateful I am for that. Also, for some reason, I hugged my brother twice the last time I left his house--I didn't remember hugging him the first time. I am grateful for that too. I am grateful for my brother.

He was a big supporter of me--my writing, my kids, my worries and hopes. He was very proud of me and Violet Raines and hoped for big writing success and more books for me.

I loved him. That's really all there is to say. I loved him.

I am working to get back to a normal schedule with writing and blogging. Though I may not post or comment too much for a while, I will be around, reading your blogs and thinking good thoughts of you.

18 comments:

Ello said...

Danette, I am so very sorry. This is such a terrible tragedy and I know it just doesn't make any sense. Please know all of our prayers are with you and your family.

Ell

Sheri said...

Oh Danette, I was beginning to get very worried about you, began to read Violet last night, and actually thought, OK if she doesn't post by this week, I am emailing her to see if she is OK. I can see now that it will be sometimes before you can say that.

I am so sorry for your sad and tragic loss. My mom died seven years ago Oct 18. One thing I will tell you from my experience is to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel as you feel it. I know that sounds silly, but people around you will want you to be better, maybe sooner than you are ready. They will be well intentioned, but there is no road map through mourning and it is different for each of us. Respect your body, your mind, and your spirit and allow yourself to go through this process however you need to. I will also tell you, from my experience, the first year is tough, but for me, the second year was even tougher because you know then what to expect. Just take it slow and cry when you want to and break things when you need to and know that loving a person never needs to end.

*kisses and hugs*

Catherine J Gardner said...

Oh Danette, I am so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers across the water.

Stephen Parrish said...

We'll be thinking good thoughts of you too.

Travis Erwin said...

I hated to read this news. Hoping for the best for you and your entire family.

ChrisEldin said...

Hi Danette,
I think it's healthy you're talking about him. Keeping him alive in your conversations helps. The more you talk about him with your children, sharing stories and memories, the more you'll remain feeling connected to an important part of who you are. Does that make sense? I hope so. And while I'm not so religious, I strongly believe their energy is still around you and always will be.

courtney said...

Your brother sounds like he was truly a blessing and I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, take time, Danette. We're all here for you.

Emerald Gown from the Blueboards said...

So very sorry to read this.
I was so happy for you and VIOLET. This is terrible. I am praying for you and yours during this difficult time. I imagine that the loss of a sibling is uniquely painful. May you find comfort in your memories and with your family and friends. Peace be with you.

Kim Kasch said...

Losing loved ones is soooo hard.

Words can't fill the void - but know we are thinking of you and your family.

Stella said...

Danette, I'm so so sorry. What a horrible shock for you! Having lost my mom last year in an accident, I can imagine how you're feeling. Allow yourself time to grieve. I'm sure your brother will live on in your heart.vhw

Brenda said...

Danette...My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...I wish I could do more...

Lots of hugs...Brenda

Kelly said...

Danette, That is wonderful that you had such a close relationship with your brother. I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care..
Kelly (blueboards)

Mary Witzl said...

Oh, Danette, this is so sad and I am so sorry. I wish there were something I could say to make it better. How wonderful that your brother knew how much you loved him -- and that you hugged him twice before he died. That is some comfort, but it does not seem enough. Wish there were something I could do for you.

Prince Balthazar said...

Peace and strength to your family, Danette. I am very sorry for your loss.

Linda D. (sbk) said...

I'm so sorry, Danette. {{{HUGS}}}

Rena said...

Danette,

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Rena

tammi said...

Oh, Danette. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

Tabitha said...

Oh, I'm so sorry Danette! I popped over to say how excited I was to be settling down with Violet...still am, but I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm sure you feel like there's a ragged hole in your heart, but Sheri has fantastic advice. I didn't follow that when I lost my best friend, and let me tell you, I wish I had.

Sending good thoughts to you and yours...