The Comma: A Small but Mighty Foe

I've decided that I hate commas.

They don't know what they want. They're neither left nor right; they're ubiquitous. That is their power.

They used to precede the word too at the end of a sentence, but they've slacked off; the contemporary comma no longer sets off too and sometimes not even either.

Introductory phrase? Set it off with a comma! she barks. But wait! Look at the small print: introductory phrases are usually followed by a comma, if a pause is intended. Short introductory phrases don't require a comma.

She pounds her fist on the table. Subjective!

Oh no! Oh, no! Both correct!

I'm in copyedit mode. When I did this for Violet Raines, I felt like the success or failure of the book depended on if I deleted a comma or not. But I am wiser now, more experienced.

Still . . .

I hate you, Comma!

8 comments:

Sandy Nawrot said...

You make me laugh! The things us laypeople don't appreciate about you authors. If you ask me, just leave the damn commas out. I can live without them. What I REALLY like are the triple dot...

Charles Gramlich said...

I'm gonna jump on the anti-comma bandwagon. Die comma scum. Die.

Danette Haworth said...

Ah, the mighty ellipses . . . you have chosen well, Sandy.

Charles,
Die comma scum. DIE! HAHAHA! I almost put commas in that until I looked at your format.

Plus I laughed and felt relieved upon reading your comment on book trailers. Should we make them? Should we pay others to make them for us?

Your comment made feel like I was off the hook.

KateMessner said...

Okay...this totally made me laugh because the comma before the "too" completely befuddled me when I got my copy edits from Walker. I'm still not at peace with it - how come they have to keep changing everything?!

Christina Farley said...

Commas are the Bad Guys in my manuscripts. Lurking around, causing mischief and not showing up where they should. I'm so with you!

courtney summers said...

...

This entry is perfection.

Perfection!

Mary Witzl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary Witzl said...

I know exactly what you mean. All other punctuation marks follow a set pattern. Semicolons, colons, quotation marks, dashes -- all of them fit right in, more or less, and don't bedevil you by acting shifty. But as soon as I start reading other people's writings, I start seeing how sneaky and capricious commas are. How they sometimes fail to show up when I think they should and yet insinuate themselves when I think they should be snuggled up in the keyboard and never show their faces.

I'm an over-user myself, if you couldn't already tell. (That last comma after 'if' ought to tip you off...)