Freckled, Irish Pupils, Vampires, and Insomnia

The optician told me my eyes are in really good shape.

"Did you know you have freckles on your eyes?" he asked.

"Cool," I said.

"That means your eyes have sun damage."

Oh. I thought it meant that my Irishness pervaded even my eyes. The doctor went on to tell my that my pupils were unusually large All the better to see you with, heh-heh, and that he didn't even need to perform the usual dilation.

I left with a slight prescription and the doctor's opinion that the $2.00 cheater glasses were working well enough for now.

Later, I wondered about my unusually large pupils. Being an amateur photographer, I knew that my F-stops were allowing in more light.

I am a nocturnal being.

I checked my cuspids but saw no fangs. I am not related to Edward, Barnabas Collins, Nosferatu, or even Dracula. No, I'm afraid the problem is simple and much more common: insomnia. Now this doesn't relate to freckled, big pupils, but I had a rotten night of sleep, so I'm going to travel down this tangent.

Here's a link to ten famous insomniacs and their unusual approaches to the problem. I like entry #2: Amy Lowell, poet: in a hotel, Lowell hired five rooms--one to sleep in, and empty rooms above, below, and on either side, in order to guarantee quiet.

Another website tells me that more women than men suffer from insomnia. They discuss a litany of reasons why. Silly male doctors. Here's the real reason your wife can't get any sleep: She weighs half as much as you do. When she rolls over, you feel nothing. When you roll over, she feels like she's cresting a water bed with no baffle. Also, she does not snore.

In the meantime . . .

10 comments:

cdeluca said...

What makes you think she doesn't snore? ;)

Danette Haworth said...

Hah! She would love the opportunity to snore, if indeed she was capable of nasal melodies, but she is bereft of trying. All night long she listens to the bear-like sounds from her husband.

Lisa Green said...

You know I never had insomnia until I started writing my novel. All of a sudden it was a common occurrence to wake up at 4 am and be thinking of new scenes and details...

Sandy Nawrot said...

I think that IS cool...freckled eyes! I'm surprised mine are freckled. I have them everywhere else. As far as insomnia goes, I only have it when my HUSBAND wakes me up from snoring, wacks me in the face with his hand accidentally, or I am worrying about something.

Travis Erwin said...

Love the new look of the blog. And who knew you could even get freckles on your eyes?

deborahfreedman said...

I saw you had posted about insomnia, and had to come over! I hate the snoring. But I also have Lisa's problem, which I don't always mind so much. The issue then becomes staying awake during the day, to do something with those great, late-night ideas.

Charles Gramlich said...

I had to laugh a that weight thing. My first wife outweighed me by close to 100 pounds. I was always rolling down hill.

Cate Gardner said...

I think a lot of writers have a problem with insomnia - I always think it's the mind refusing to switch off.

Kim Kasch said...

OMG that took me back Barnabas Collins and Angelique were two people I rushed home from school to watch at 3:00 when I was a kid.

Guess I've been a fanpire for a LONGGGGGGGG time.

Kim Kasch said...

Don't 4get to stop by today to pick up your award ;)