Procrastination and Getting Stuff Done
Getting ready to get your stuff done--this short video captures it perfectly!
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I won! I'm a winner!
From Catherine J Gardner of The Poisoned Apple
Brian Regan
Answers to Comedy Quiz--Press Links To Cause Mirth and Pleasure with an Audible, Vocal Expulsion of Air from the Lungs
How's your day going? Want to make it even better? Check out these bits; most are short, all are funny.
Without further ado, the answers to the comedy quiz:
1. "Rice is good food, if you're hungry and want 10,000 of something."
MITCH HEDBERG
Oh, my gosh, watch the whole thing, TOO FUNNY! Fishsticks, club sandwiches, OMG, excellent! Saw him in person, so great. Humor is a gift, and he had it.
2. "Dad is great; he gave us chocolate cake."
BILL COSBY
This whole CD is great.
3. "Will do."
KEVIN MCDONALD, KIDS IN THE HALL, King of Empty Promises. So dry!
4. "A dingo ate your baby."
ELAINE, feeling uncomfortable at a party on SEINFELD. Good line to use at conferences if you feel awkward!
5. "They're just dumb old donkeys; they don't have a show to put on."
BRIAN REGAN, master of comedy, anything by him is my favorite. Check out Pop Tarts, Emergency Room, and I think we lost Bobby back there (don't know the name of this bit).
6. "You old guys don't need a young woman; you need a woman who recognizes the signs of stroke."
SINBAD, SINBAD, WHERE U BEEN? Excellent comedy! Clever, observational, and his improvisation is quick and spot-on. YOU MUST WATCH THIS BIT!
7. "I'm ready to go."
JAMIE FOX as WANDA, Living Color. I don't think she says it in this skit, but she's funny on the DATING GAME.
8. "I gotta have more cowbell!" Who doesn't know this one!
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, SNL
9. "Sausages . . ."
SCOTT THOMPSON, Kids in the Hall. This skit is strange and oddly literary.
10. "Am I smiling?"
JOAN RIVERS, Geico commercial. Haha!
11. "Go to sleep, tiny dancer."
OWEN WILSON as HUTCH, STARSKY AND HUTCH. After the dance-off between Starsky and some club boy, Hutch finds out what Starsky has been putting in his coffee.
Do You Know Your Comedy: A Quiz
Charles Gramlich has posted a series of quizzes at which I have failed miserably. After post-quiz sackcloth and ashes, I realized that the only way to redeem myself was to post quizzes I ALREADY KNEW THE ANSWERS TO!
So, with that in mind, I begin my quiz series with a subject close to my heart: comedy. Charles makes his quizzes user friendly by giving you a matching set of mixed-up answers from which to choose. I do no such thing. If you want to be deemed The Armchair Queen/King of Comedy, you must recognize these quotes like sight words. Hey, if winning were easy, losers would do it.
Who said these funny lines? Post your answers in the comments! I'll post answers later!
Here we go:
1. "Rice is good food, if you're hungry and want 10,000 of something."
2. "Dad is great; he gave us chocolate cake."
3. "Will do."
4. "A dingo ate your baby."
5. "They're just dumb old donkeys; they don't have a show to put on."
6. "You old guys don't need a young woman; you need a woman who recognizes the five signs of stroke."
7. "I'm ready to go."
8. "I gotta have more cowbell!"
9. "Sausages . . ."
10. "Am I smiling?"
11. "Go to sleep, tiny dancer."
Update on Our New Puppy!
The woman who owns the cockapoo family emailed me new photos of our puppy. We get to pick up this cute little bundle this weekend!
.....
Kathy Carmichael and Her Pitch Generator
On her website, Kathy Carmichael provides all kinds of guidance on query letters, synopses, and elevator pitches. She even hosts a pitch generator--just fill in the blanks and it spits out your pitch! Try it! Here's the link.
Walker Editor Stacy Cantor Talks about Covers
My FABULOUS editor, Stacy Cantor of Walker Books, is guest posting on From the Mixed Up Files today. Check it out! http://bit.ly/aTYm9P
Listen to Me! (Literally!)
The good people at TeachingBooks invited me to record myself explaining how to pronounce my name. Want to hear it? Click here, then go to "Author Pronunciation."
I listened to lots of other authors saying their names and I'm proud to say I can now correctly pronounce"Maggie Stiefvater."
Afraid of Conferences? Got Something for You!
I'm not normally in the business of telling you where to spend you money, but I believe the service I'm about to mention is truly worth it:
On September 23rd, Writers Digest is hosting an ONLINE WORKSHOP with CRITIQUES. The seminar runs ninety minutes and is run by Mary Kole from the Andrea Brown Literary Agency, an agency specializing exclusively in children's books for the past thirty years.
For those of who haven't attended a conference, this online workshop might be equally as good: it's cheaper; it's closer; you know the food will be good; and you're going to receive instruction and personal feedback on your work from a publishing insider.
The critique alone is an excellent service. If you've never exposed your work before, if you've been afraid to submit, this, I think, would be a good answer for you.
Here's the link:
http://www.writersdigestshop.com/product/Publish_Your_Childrens_Tween_Teen_Fiction_webinar/?r=wdpb091910
Good luck!
NO, I'm Not Pregnant!
*Ring, ring*
Mom: Hi, Danette. [Actually, she used my super secret nickname.]
Me: Hi, Mom. Did M tell you? My family's getting bigger next month!
Mom: YOU'RE PREGNANT!
Me: No, we're getting a dog.
Mom: That's great!
Baby girl cockapoo is 3 1/2 weeks--we get to pick her up next month. Here's her picture:
Win Origami Yoda!
From The Mixed-Up Files blog:
And now, dear readers, an exciting giveaway we will have! Tom [Andleberger] has generously offered *this* ORIGINAL illustration from THE STRANGE CASE OF ORIGAMI YODA to accompany the already fabulous prize of an AUTOGRAPHED COPY of his BOOK. Make a comment between now and September 1 to enter. A winner will be announced September 2.
Not your Mother's Yoyo--World 2010 Yoyo Contest
Remember those yoyos you'd get as part of the birthday favor bag, your departing gift after playing musical chairs and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey? Back then I thought the object was to throw the yoyo down and return it to my hand. That, I thought, was talent. If you could do it.
Oh, how wrong I was.
I spent the weekend at the World 2010 Yoyo Contest in Orlando. For those of you in the know, I met Patrick Mitchell, Mateusz Ganc, Andre Boulay, Paul Han, Jensen Kimmitt, Jon Martin, Will Neimier, Zach Gormley, many more--all talented guys (very few female yoyoers).
This competition was to yoyers what a weekend conference is to writers. My son was among his own as soon as we stepped into the ballroom. Black clothes, busy fingers, yoyos of every shape, size, and color everywhere. Incredible talent. Three days of yoyo excellence.
For those of you who think "Walk the Dog" is the height of yoyo tricks (as I once did), I give you Paul Han (from CA).
Brian Regan in September!
YES! We're going to see my favorite comedian, Brian Regan, this September!
I just bypassed Ticketmaster who only wanted to give me seats way in the back--stupid lottery system! Instead, I called the venue directly and got closer seats, which happen to be on the inside aisle. For those of you who are not 5'2", let me explain: that aisle will leverage out the height of the tall men I must strain to see over.
Hooray!
Once again, my goal is to out-yell the other audience members during the encore for Brian to do his "Flipper" bit.
I got a hair cut and I do not like it.
I got a hair cut today and I do not like it.
The bangs
are chopped too high,
and hair that was once long
is now chopped short to become one with the bangs.
I know you feel sorry for me
but secretly you want to see the picture.
Here it is.
Wait.
I'm working up
my nerve
to show you.
I really don't like it.
I know
it will grow out,
but in the meantime I will know
it looks ugly
every time I pass a mirror, storefront, back of a spoon, or see the reflection
in my neighbor's special tooth.
I know you want to see it.
I don't want you to.
But
This being
a free state and
July 4th only just passed, reconfirming our freedoms
(even though
I don't think
you seeing my ugly hair
counts as a freedom).
I got a hair cut today and I do not like it.
School Library Journal likes The Summer of Moonlight Secrets!
My editor sent me this review from School Library Journal; after reading it, I felt like dancing in the streets! YAY! Hooray!
The Summer of Moonlight Secrets
"Allie Jo Jackson, 13, lives with her parents in the famous, fading Meriwether hotel, near Hope Springs , FL. She is ready for a less-than-stellar summer when Chase arrives with his travel-writer dad and proceeds to break his arm while skateboarding down a hotel hall. He is soon followed by sweet Sophie and a beautiful mystery girl, Tara , whose gleaming hair, shining skin, startling good looks, and penchant for midnight swims start the others wondering about her identity. The old hotel, with its grand staircase, long halls, crumbling upper floors, secret passages, and abandoned speakeasy, is just as much a character in the book as the young teenagers, all of whom face personal problems. The cast also includes a group of mean girls who taunt Allie Jo, calling her “hotel rat,” and a creepy man who insists that Tara is his runaway niece. Described in chapters that are alternately narrated by Allie Jo, Chase, and Tara, the summer flows along, filled with ordinary activities like card games and polishing the hotel’s brass fittings. Then Allie Jo and Chase discover Tara ’s identity, but are not sure whether to believe her strange story. There is a touch of summer magic and a dollop of mystery in this compelling story."–School Library Journal
Six Word Stories
Don't have time for that novel? Come, dear reader, I have 5 six-word stories for you!
Shot cheating husband. Jail not bad.
Suicide noose broke. Must lose weight.
God: I knew they'd do that.
Woman travels time. World now fabulous.
Armstrong: "One small step—" Director: "Cut!"
Grand Prize Winner, Middle School
Karen is the middle school student who earned the Grand Prize with her catchy essay. Click on the pic to enlarge. Good job, Karen!
My note to Karen: Here’s what I loved about your essay and why it stood out from among so many other well-written essays: You captured the elusive quality known as voice. What I mean by voice is while reading, I got a strong sense of the narrator’s personality. The way you expressed sadness, hopefulness, and even the mischievous desire for chocolate chip cookies was breezy and humorous. I liked that voice!
My favorite line in the whole essay was “I was even going to miss the sidewalk.” What an excellent line! You used an example that demonstrated just how sad you were, rather than merely saying, “I was really sad.” That’s called “showing, not telling,” and that’s an important concept in creative writing. Your essay contained many details, many examples, and I loved your use of hyperbolic statements, such as the one above and “filled to the brim with only old people,” and “awaiting my fate.” By over-exaggerating your feelings in this way, you created a thread of humor that ran all throughout your essay. I’m pretty sure you didn’t spend hours gazing at a framed photo of the sidewalk, but I got what you meant and it made me laugh. In fact, I spent a couple of days reading all the essays, and the next day, I kept thinking about that sidewalk line. It was so funny that I had to rifle through all the papers just so I could read it again.
The things you worried about and the observations you made struck me as true. As someone who moved around a lot as a young person, I know that you really do feel the loss of the physical home because of all the good times and friends it represents. I liked that you worried about being surrounded by old people and then—oh, no!—it seemed like it was true when all you observed in the lines of apartments was the occasional old man watering his yard. I’m laughing about that even as I type this!
I loved your descriptions: the pale green paint, being committed to finding the cookies, and lines of apartments. (That one word shows your initial displeasure with what you saw because it makes the apartments sound like barracks.) In addition to expressing your feelings, you also appealed to senses one doesn’t normally associate with a story about moving: smell, taste, and hearing.
Karen, I am pleased to give you the award for Grand Prize Winner. I’m certain you must be planning to be a writer because your talent already shows. Stay true to your voice, and your writing will always be authentic. It was a pleasure to read your essay.
Interview and Book Giveaway!
The new site for all things middle-grade, From the Mixed-Up Files, is hosting me today: an interview, Q&A, and best of all, a chance to win a free hardcover of The Summer of Moonlight Secret! Come on over!
The Summer of Moonlight Secrets available as E-Book!
The Summer of Moonlight Secrets is now available as an e-book! It can be purchased through Amazon (Kindle), Sony, Kobo, or Go Spoken. Violet Raines will soon be available in the same formats. Wow!
FREE! NEW! NINE BOOK GIVEAWAY! This Summer's Biggest Book Bonanza!
Do you love middle-grade literature? This is your lucky day, my friend. A bunch of MG authors and myself have started a new site called From the Mixed-Up Files, and our inaugural post is a NINE BOOK GIVEAWAY to ONE LUCKY POSTER!
Are you still here? Make haste, MG reader--click this link for your chance to win THE BIGGEST MIDDLE-GRADE BOOK GIVEAWAY EXTRAVAGANZA YOU'LL SEE ALL SUMMER!
Grand Prize Winner, fifth grade
Here’s what I loved about Dylan's essay and why it stood out from among so many other well-written essays: Dylan, you offered a different look at the situation of being new. Drawing from your own personal experience, you helped me to see what it would be like to not only be new, but to be facing the additional challenge of trying to fit in when you speak a different language. You were very honest in your essay, and that honesty hooked me.
Even though I have never had your experience, I was able to relate to it because of how well you expressed it. I understood that it was lonely and frustrating to come to this country and try to make friends but have difficulty because you and they spoke different languages. I knew exactly what you meant when you worried about sounding weird when you spoke English. I feel the same way when I try to use the Spanish words I know! I’m not sure I have the accent or the pronunciation right.
Your writing was sensitive and insightful. You had a unique perspective on being a new kid, and I was very touched by your essay. GOOD JOB!
Cappuccino and Turkey
Some days, the forces line up. I whip the lightest froth, mix the proper sugar, & the espresso pours rich and dark. Today was that day. Yes, dear readers--the perfect cappuccino. I ask you, does it get any better than this?
Oh, wait--it does! My agent sold foreign rights to The Summer of Moonlight Secrets! My book will be printed in Turkey! I can't wait to see what the text looks like. HOORAY!
Grand Prize Winner, fourth grade
Congratulations to all the finalists and grand prize winner of the What's it Like to be a New Kid Writing Contest! Seven schools participated in the writing contest, and many, many well-written and creative entries came my way. I must say to all the students who entered: Thank you so much for your hard work, your creativity, and, most of all, your honesty in the stories you shared. I enjoyed every single essay.
Here's how the contest worked: I scored the papers on these elements: opening line, details, anecdotes, how the essay relates to Violet or Melissa, effort, and emotion. After reading each essay at least three times, I selected a pool of finalists, and from that pool, I selected a grand prize winner for each grade level. Finalists received the new Violet Raines paperback, a bookmark, and a little alligator (glass, not live!). Grand prize winners received the same booty, with the additional prize being the hardcover of the newly released The Summer of Moonlight Secrets and a written critique from me on their paper. The prize winning essays and photos of their authors are featured on the student page of my website.
But I enjoyed the essays so much, I thought you would, too. For the next three weeks, I'll post one grand prize winner over the weekend. I know the young writers would be thrilled to see any comments you might leave on my blog or my Facebook profile.
Without further ado, here is Caroline, the fourth grade Grand Prize Winner, and her essay. (Click on essay to enlarge it.)
BOOKLIST likes The Summer of Moonlight Secrets
My editor just sent me this review from Booklist. MY DAY IS OFFICIALLY EXCELLENT!
"Eleven-year-old Allie Jo’s family runs and lives in the legendary, timeworn Meriwether Hotel in Florida , where 13-year-old Chase is a summer guest with his travel-writer father. Although the kids’ first meeting is somewhat contentious, each has encountered the beautiful, mysterious 16-year-old Tara, who is unfamiliar with the modern world, drawn to moonlight swims, and determined to remain hidden from others. When Tara reveals her fantastical story, Allie Jo and Chase decide to help her, but a suspicious stranger’s arrival brings difficult dilemmas as they try to sort out the truth and the right course of action. Allie Jo and Chase are appealing, credibly realistic characters who face both extraordinary events and everyday issues, including resident mean girls. The alternating narratives, including Tara ’s voice, add suspense and depth to this entertaining and intriguing blend of fantasy and reality, myth and mystery, that celebrates friendship and compassion."— Booklist
In Which My Mom Moves to Orlando--FINALLY!
My mom closed on her house last week, and she and my sister and I spent the weekend cleaning. Mom's standards are somewhat higher than ours; we worked harder on her house than we do our own! But in any case, YAY! Mom lives here now! And the best part is that my mom knows how to sew on a sewing machine, so she can fix up some of my clothes and that one bedspread. Heh-heh! Just kidding, Mom!
We love ya, Mom!
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