I Do Not Sing in the Shower (for I Wish To Remain Married)

Man, my worship leader is good! Where is the waterproof mascara?

I sing in church, but just loud enough for God to hear. He's the only one who actually likes my singing. On key is not one of the gifts he's given me. In sixth grade, my best friends and I tried out for chorus. CK totally had to make it because like her whole family had sung in chorus, and CJ thought it would be fun. I did, too--how hard could it be? The auditions were held in an open room and all my classmates were there. Then it was my turn. I bellowed out a rousing rendition of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. A better imitation of a moose has never been heard. I finished my song--the show must go on and all that--but I knew I would not be donning the official black chorus skirt with coordinating blouse.

Chris Rice sings on key and he's funny. Here's the Cartoon Song.