Lizardy Kitchen

Having lived in Florida for a while, I’ve become accustomed to the beautiful sunsets, the gorgeous weather, and the lush landscapes. But I’ve never gotten used to the sight of those lizards clinging to my window screens.

I was on the phone recently with my next-door-neighbor when I saw a tail dash under the chair I was sitting on. I shrieked into the phone and pulled my legs up.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” my neighbor cried.

“Oh, one of those lizards is in my kitchen!” I said.

“I had one in the house the other day, too,” she said. “I pushed him out with a broom.”

I got off the phone and returned to the scene with my broom, prancing like an elf in case he darted under my heels. He was under the table. I swiped the broom under, not far—I didn’t want to smush him, just scare him out of there. He didn’t move. I swiped again, and finally I pushed the bristles gently against him. He was an expert at playing dead. He wasn’t leaving on his own; I was going to have to remove him myself.

I took a see-through container from the cupboard and turned it upside down over him. Sliding a thin piece of cardboard under it, I now had him trapped. He was scrambling inside and leaping against the walls. I screamed all the way outside, sure he was going to escape and crawl up my arms.

I made it to the front yard and let out a loud whoop when he popped out.

Throwing her second-story window open, my neighbor from across the street leaned out.

“Are you okay?” she yelled, phone in hand, ready to dial 911.

“LIZARD!” I hollered.

She snickered, then closed her window.

They tease me now about my squeamishness and I laugh right along with them. After all, I heard one of them scream at a snake last week.


Travis Erwin said...

My son would love to find a lizard in our house. He's been begging me to buy him one for months.

Sandy Nawrot said...

Those silly things. They will occasionally get in our house, and usually the cats get them before I see them. I find the tails, you see. Once in awhile, they will get trapped between the screen and the window, and I have to clean out their shriveled, dried up bodies. It is a toss-up whether I enjoy the lizards or the roaches more. Ain't Florida great?

courtney summers said...

Hah! Yay lizards! They make for hilarious blog entries like this. Thanks for the chuckle, Danette!