American Idol--Quit Your Belly Aching! THE SEQUEL

Actually, I wasn't done typing the previous post when I accidentally hit "publish." But as you know, there are no real accidents. I let it stand, and I begin again:

Last night, Pia was eliminated from the talent pool of American Idol.

THE HORROR!

The camera made a quick cut to Randy, who looked like he was saying something that began with an F. JLo was jello, trembling with upset. Even Steven declared America got it wrong.

Gimme a break.

With nine contestants left, anyone who leaves now is someone with talent, whether they're your favorite or not. If you want to know how this is going to play out, I refer you to my earlier post, Ryan Seacrest, Adam Lambert in which I theorize that the voting public does not elect the American Idol; the AI electoral college does. To refresh your memory, I submit that Ford, AT&T, and 19 Entertainment are not going to hand over their lucrative contracts to the person voted in by the fastest flying fingers of America's quickest texters.

So let's look at this objectively. AI lowered the audition age and is striving to reach a younger audience--the audience they started out with, the spending audience, not people like me who drive vans and compare prices on chicken. They want the new generation, the people who camp out at night for the latest smart phone, the people just starting out on their own and who might buy a Ford Fiesta.

Let's knock out the talent who are just too niche-y to appeal to the wide group the sponsors want to sell to: Casey--oh so talented, one of my faves, but can he sell to a wide audience? Sorry, no. Paul, no. Jacob--I love you, but no. Scott--you are country cool and I think you'll make it, just not on this show. In fact, I believe everyone I've just mentioned can and will make it, just not on AI. (Oh, Casey, so smokey!)

Whose face does Ford want to put on their product? Well, let's see. Seems people have already forgotten last year's winner (Lee DeWyze, just so you don't have to look it up). And Kris Allen, well, he's so nice and I do like his voice. Can you imagine Adam Lambert hawking Ford Fiestas? Hahahaha!HAHAHAHA! Oh, please! *wipes tears of hilarity from eyes*

An aside: Has anyone forgotten Adam Lambert? I DON'T THINK SO.

I conclude that Ford wants a clean, fresh-faced American who appeals to a wide audience, spanning age, gender, and race. And let's not forget the actual records! 19 Entertainment doesn't want our votes, they want our money! They want an idol who will is capable of sustaining a career, not just exploding as a 2011 supernova.

Here are my bets for American Idol 2011 top three:

Stefano: Stefano is so very passionate and so genuine. He's got a lovely voice, and I think he's humble. All the qualities the sponsors are looking for.

James: Good looking, exciting, rocks the house! AI, please do something else with his hair! James has Adam Lambert appeal, though lacks a maturity present in Adam. Forgivable. James is great. Has a good back story. I bet sponsors are looking hard at him.

Lauren: Oh my gosh, this girl is so cute! Cutesie-pie qualities are usually a turnoff to me, but Lauren is seriously cute. I wish I had her accent! I wish she'd sing more rocker songs like she did in the beginning of the season--she's got the rasp to do it. I can see her face selling Ford, AT&T, clothing, hair ribbons, and bracelets.

Who will win?

I don't know!

Who do you think will win? If you had to put money on one of the eight who remain, who would it be? My answer is in the comments.