Lizard Seeks Role in The Summer of Moonlight Secrets

So this lizard pops in through the screen, runs up the table scrambling right for me, and I'm all screaming and "AAAH THERE'S A LIZARD IN THE HOUSE!" but he waves his hands to shush me and says, "Are you the author of The Summer of Moonlight Secrets?"

I can't shut my mouth because, you know, this lizard has just spoken and he does not have an Australian accent. "Whatdja say?" I ask. I heard him; I'm just fudging for a few seconds to cover my disappointment.

His little hands looks like mine, if mine were green and lizardy. He folds them and shrugs his shoulders. "I hear there's a lizard in your book."

I nod. "Yeah, a few of them."

"I've come to audition for the part. I could play all of the lizards, actually--no one would know." Desperation glints from his bulbous eyes.

"It's not a movie." Yet, I secretly think. "It's a book. You can get get in hard cover, paperback, bookfairs, ebooks--"

He shakes his flourescent head. "I need a job."

"Have you tried insurance companies?"

He sneers. "Yeah, that guy. Do you know he's originally from Key West?"

"No!" I pound the table with my fist. "I knew that accent was fake! How'd he get to Hollywood?"

My new friend rolls his eyes. "He knew a guy who knew a guy--you know how it works."

He jumps off the table, squiggles across the floor, and just before he exits through the hole, he turns his head over his shoulder and says, "Well, keep me in mind, will you?"

"Wait!" I rise. "Can you do an English accent or maybe Irish?"

He smiles--at least that's what I think his mouth does--and he mimes tipping a hat. "Top o'the mornin' to ya, luv."

I clap with glee. "Bring me a headshot," I say. "I'll see what I can do."